Top 10 effects of new Netflix COO
As you may or may not have heard, Netflix has hired former U.S. Postmaster General William J. Henderson as their new COO. Here are the top 10 effects of Henderson’s change of careers:
1) Price of 3-at-a-time plan increased by 2 cents every year or so.
2) Netflix.com unavailable on Sundays.
3) Users now required to kick boxes as they move up their Netflix queue.
4) Reed Hastings becomes instantly “disgruntled.”
5) Was Hastings ever really “gruntled” to begin with?
6) “Batman and Robin” added to “rain, sleet, dark of night” schtick.
7) Fair’s fair. Antioco is becoming a mailman.
New mail slots all changed to precise width of a DVD.
9) Netflix distribution centers now being used to house empty cans and bottles, which will be returned for $.10 profit each.
10) Starting today, citizens who use too many “postage paid” envelopes to pay their bills will be “throttled,” their bills delayed by up to 5 business days.